My latest painting landed this week, I call her "Haven".
This beauty took me along a winding road of radical trust, massive self doubt, an explosive exchange with my inner and outer child ( my daughter took a paint brush to it at one point... let's just say it was not my best parenting moment.)
Finally after much struggle, a break in the wild , murky, chaos occurred and it moved into this beautiful sunset of a painting.
My biggest reflection and truly the healing that came in for me was my exchange with my daughter during this process.
The mamma dinosaur roar came out big time and of course, she burst into tears, as most would with that kind of a beastly uprising coming at them. I immediately got down on my knees and held her and did all I could to repair the situation.
I acknowledged that I yelled at her and how scary that must have been and how hurt she was feeling. I apologized and loved her up as much as I could. I asked her if she wanted to paint with me to please ask me first. I felt awful and I was having massive mom guilt for possibly scarring her and potentially blocking her creating energy through this explosion.
After she went to bed, I spent time energetically " cleaning up" the situation as I know I had likely imprinted a huge "STOP PAINTING" / " STOP BEING CREATIVE" message in her consciousness. Sure enough, there was a block in her energy field around the experience.
I worked with her field to surrender the block and felt it shift back to ease and flow. The " STOP" left her and there seemed to be balance again.
I am darn grateful I have these tools in my tool kit as a mamma as I have very human moments like these at times. I do my best to clean up my messes so to speak, both with her personally as well as on the subtle energy and subconscious levels.
The last bit that came to me as I sat in meditation about the experience was that Saphira was reflecting my own inner child's need to paint and play with me. My gigantic " STOP!" showed me how I was limiting my childlike playfulness in my painting process.
With this insight I was able to reach a place of gratitude for my wee ones playful contribution to my painting as she reminded me to invite my child self to play in this painting.
As I did, the painting really started to come together. I had really been struggling with it up until then and the lightness and freedom of the child in me brought it to life.
This piece weaves energies of surrendering control, allowing play, making room for spontaneity and honoring the child through it. I named it "Haven" as I feel it it a sacred place with in me where my inner child is free to express and play.
Blessings and love, Kimberly